If I could sit down and write every single time I am inspired through out the day, that would be something. Although I say that and then I think about what's actually happening during those days that is so inspiring to me. If I had the opportunity and ability to sit down and write at any point in time, would I even write about the same things? Would I have nothing to write about or would it be different? or better? or worse? Would I be receiving the amount of inspiration it takes to even spark these thoughts? Is that what I would really want? I go onto to think that I'd be inspired in a different way, a better way, a way that maybe would still suck. That it may still be great but am I willing to risk it, am I willing to go all in? I must trust the process. I repeat that in my mind and it's very common for me to not trust anything. I can see the failures before they even appear, I can smell them and taste them. I know that they are real, but are they more real than the feelings I feel when I am letting things drain me and I'm letting things win?
What does one do with a mind like this? Always thinking, always ticking, always second guessing a means to the end. You've got to control your mind they say. You must not let it win. My mind has got it's own mind and her name is Mattel.
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