The Struggle is Real

One thing that really gets me demotivated in my creative goals is my lack of creativity when I try to force it. Its like if I make a conscious decision to be creative, I've got nothing and then in the middle of doing something I can't just stop I have a creative thought or moment and then its lost, lost forever, because I can't capture it. I know I sound a bit dramatic about all of it but it really does bring me down, makes it hard to try and do creative things in my spare time, I feel like I'm forcing it and therefore its not real or raw. . . I sound like a broken record, an artist that has never starved.  I've never put my artwork or writing first, ever. Its always been low on my priority list and why I wonder? I love it, I should spend more time on it.  I promised myself this year will be the year that I make it more of a priority, this is the year I accomplish many things, why, because I am making a promise to myself and I am not going to break it.  I've been listening to Rachel Hollis's book Girl, wash your face on audible and she made me realize this. I've got to hold myself accountable for not letting myself make time for the things I love like writing and painting.  I've also got to get over the fact that people may not read my blog or the books I want to write and people may not want to buy my paintings or anything else but that doesn't mean I should stop doing what I love.  You know the saying...'The Struggle is Real" This is on of my real struggles. 😂

Creatures On A Rock

On my last post I stated that I have been trying to start a blog now for about 12 years and once I published it and was looking around I noticed that I in fact started this blog account in 2009. I would have been 20 and thus it would have only been 10 years but despite my bad memory and time judgment a lot has happened in the last ten years.  I graduated college with a degree is Mass Communications from Northwestern Oklahoma State University in Alva, OK. I got my dream job being a radio DJ, while there I also sold radio advertising, probably one of the hardest things to sell in my opinion. It's like selling air and hoping someone is there to breath it in when its released.  I also wrote my own ad copy and produced the ads something that I really enjoyed. I meet my husband, we got married and spent roughly six years helping take care of his grandmother with Dementia. I also switched from selling radio ads to car insurance which I only did for about a year before finding my place randomly off a Facebook post about a bartending job at the Elks lodge that turned into a full blown career.  I've been with the Elks now for about 2 and a half years, its been such a blessing in my life and I can't leave out that my husband and I started a leather business.  So as you can see there has been a lot of things that have transpired and I really just skimmed the top of it. I've spent ten years not making the things I love to do one of my priorities and sitting and worrying or just going through the movements, but that's what this post is really about, its about continuing on, not letting the past define who you are and what your future holds.  It may have taken me 10 years but I am committed to making this a regular thing.  I've always loved to write so it's so exciting and moving to be making it my reality and to be able to share my thoughts and my art with all of you.  I had a friend comment on my blog link I shared on my twitter yesterday after my first post, she writes "We're all just creatures on a rock, homie." and she's so right but this creature is destined to move that rock.

www.robinsonleatherworks.com

Life is a funny thing

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and now that I am grown up, I've come to appreciate my days as a carefree kid.  Life is a funny thing and it has a funny way of working out and not working out.  I continue to be super optimistic most days but some days are harder than others.  The other day I was looking at my plants and so many of them had new growth on them one even flowered and I finally found the secret to growing chickens and hens.  I can't even begin to tell you how many of those plants I have killed over the last five years, but I just kept trying and the rewarding feeling I got when I finally succeeded is something I can't even explain.  That day as I was looking at my plants and was studying them, seeing their growth made me realize that growing plants is a lot like growing in life.  I begun to compare them, plants start out as a seed and grow through the soil into baby plants and then into adult plants. We as humans grow from an egg in our mothers and then grow from a baby to an adult.  The better care we take of our plants the better they grow and bloom, just like us the better care we receive as we grow the better we grow and bloom into the people that we are.  The secret to happiness in life is the same secret to growing healthy plants.  This year I don't have any new years resolutions, just a new year to restart my growth.  There are so many things that I have wanted to do and do wholeheartedly that in the past I've started but never continued or stuck with it so to speak.  I've started this blog several times over the last 12 years and today I wipe the slate clean and start fresh, start the growth process in writing and enjoying my creative side through such endeavors as this.  I've let the life I'm living keep me from doing things that I love and enjoy and this year that is all going to change as I will be making my blog, podcast (set to start Feb. 2019, stay tuned) and my other various creative endeavors be a priority in my life.  I encourage everyone to make the things they really love a priority in their life, because life is a funny thing and we should all enjoy everything about this crazy life.

Top Photo:  A Cactus that my husband bought from Walmart of all places and this was the first year it bloomed circa 2015. Does this every summer when we set it outside. Bottom Photo: Aquarium Terrarium my husband designed making beautiful flowers happen. (Sorry couldn't find a picture of my chickens and hens, maybe this summer I can capture them growing.)