I can pin point the depression these days. I recognize it as it is and not how I wish it would be. I use it as the fuel to create, too rid myself of hate. I don't understand how I can be so selfless and selfish. How I can miss the things that aren't good for me while I suffocate what is. How I obsess over you, how I wish you'd tell me how it is. I'm nothing but short of okay. I am this person that really is useless in every single way. That I have true love but continue to wish it away. How I have this yearning for freedom like I am stuck in a cage. I built this cage with my anxiety, with my depression, with my fears of being great. I can pin point what's good for me and I can ignore it all in the same day. I am hot and cold, thick and thin, rich and poor, a coward and I'm brave, I can be everything you needed and I can also not be anything. I can post my face and you like it but my words don't seem to mean anything. This feeling of being completely sad is a feeling I can't ever seem to chase away.
