What is it you want

I've always wanted to be an artist, make my living doing all the things that I love.  Wishful thinking I guess.  That's the kind of thing people like me only dream about.  I would be lying if I said that it didn't hurt my soul when my attempts to sell my creations fall short.  I'd be lying if I said I haven't spent some time crying over it.  My art, in its various forms, all started with a feeling an emotion something that sparked something in me.  I feel the need to capture it.  My artwork bleeds emotion I always say and in reality my artwork is an emotion and to think that my art doesn't spark enough joy in you that you would spend your hard earned money on it just makes me really sad.  Sure, its a blow to my ego, I'd yet again be lying if I said it wasn't.  On the other hand I consider it partly my fault for not promoting it but its hard to want to spend time putting something out there that you feel like nobody wants.  I'll just sit here and spill my heart out to you, become completely consumed in my humiliation for a moment.  Maybe by finding the courage and strength to over come the helpless feelings and just make my art anyway because what it is that I want is to make it and then sell it but if I can't make the selling part work for me I will choose to at least not let it work against me.  If I can't be successful financially with my various forms of art then what it is that I want is for it to bring peace, to help heal and restore the people that it comes into contact with. I want it to tell you a story, one that will live on in you forever whether you buy it or not.  Making it brings me so much joy I have to choose that joy and then choose to not let it be destroyed within me.