Finding Yourself Again

Sometimes you have to loose yourself to find yourself again.  Crazy concept right? I bet you are thinking I'm some insane person that's off their rocker but I'm not.  I'm just a girl searching for answers and seeking knowledge everyday, trying to be a better person than I was yesterday.  I always come to this crossroad and the cycle than repeats.  It's brutal and soul wrecking. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I do this to myself?  I don't have all the answers although I wish that I did, that would make things so much easier, but one thing I have realized about life, it's not easy. The journey is hard and it can bring you to some of the darkest places.  Places no one wants to find themselves in.  While reading my late paternal grandmothers journals that my grandfather transcribed and gifted me in a paperback book that he got printed up.  With pictures of the homes they lived in and a picture of her on the Front.  While reading it I came across a sentence that changed my life, it was exactly what I needed to hear or better yet needed to read.  It was written sometime in the 80s.  She states and I quote "I must use the strength I have to find the strength I need."  It resonated with me on the most surreal level.  I've always felt connected to her, I do have a few fond memories that are still vivid in my mind, she died when I was 4.  She's a beautiful writer and I aspire to be that.  One thing is we are always learning, always growing and always evolving.  Life, let it be a beautiful thing even after or our passing.  Souls live on forever and what a beautiful thing that is.  We're always finding ourselves in some sense of the way, its a ride, an adventure, a journey.  We just have to let go and let it be all of that.